Pinning It Down Page 10

  He ground his teeth. “I can’t look out for you? Is that what you’re saying?”

  “That’s what I’m saying.”

  “So, I can have sex with you, but I can’t care for you or make sure nothing upsets you?”

  She closed her eyes and shook her head. “Oh boy, when I saw this unravelling, it wasn’t because you were too nice.”

  Something cold sliced through his chest. “You already saw us failing?”

  A soft, wry laugh fell from her. “C’mon, Erik. Be serious. You’re a successful, insanely hot surgeon. And I’m…well, me. Neither of us really thought all this wild sex was a precursor to a long, romantic happily ever after.”

  Maybe not the first time he saw her, but the first time he kissed her? Christ, that was exactly where his head had taken him. A heavy weight wrapped his chest, crushing him. The colours bleached from the room. “You never answered me when I asked if you believed in love at first sight.”

  She looked at him, her teeth worrying her bottom lip. “I’m a realist, Erik,” she said slowly. “I’d love to spend the rest of my life with you. I know that already. It’s crazy, it’s ridiculous. We hardly know each other…but there’s something about you…about us. A connection.”

  So, he wasn’t imagining it? She felt it as well?

  Why, then, is she shutting it down?

  She shook her head with a sigh. “But life has shown me there are no fairy-tale endings. I don’t need a prince to swoop in and coddle me.”

  “And if I want to coddle you?”

  That wry smile returned. The sadness in her eyes ripped him apart. “I have to get to work, Dr. Murphy,” she said, the words barely a whisper. “See you around the hospital.”

  He knew a dismissal when he heard one.

  Shite, he didn’t want to go. He’d never wanted to argue his case more than he did right now.

  But he did go.

  He had to. He had to work out what happened next.

  For her. For himself.

  For them.

  * * * *

  The word, it seemed, was already out.

  Bebe chewed at the inside of her cheek, looking at the woman standing in front of her.

  Yay. Not.

  She hadn’t even made it into the hospital before being hit with the question: Are you and Dr. Murphy in a relationship?

  Ruby—one of the senior nurses Bebe worked under—caught up with her a few feet from the door, her expression serious. And concerned.

  Why? Because Erik Murphy had a reputation for being a player? Because he was notoriously hard to work with? Or because Bebe was a first-year-out nurse, and Erik was damn near hospital royalty?

  She chewed on the inside of her cheek again. She’d watched enough Grey’s Anatomy to know inter-staff relationships in a hospital could go horribly wrong. And after Erik thumping his chest and declaring no one would be allowed to upset or reprimand her at work…

  Yeah, that’d go down like a lead balloon with her colleagues, wouldn’t it? Was that why Ruby looked like Bebe was two seconds away from confessing to killing kittens?

  “Are you?” Ruby asked, keeping pace with her as Bebe began walking again toward the door.

  “Dr Murphy and I have spent some time together outside of work.” Whoa, now there was a diplomatic answer.

  Ruby hmmmed. What the hell did Hmmm mean? Approval? Disapproval?

  “I see,” she said.

  Oh great, that was even more ambiguous.

  “Bebe!”

  Bebe turned at Glen’s shout.

  “Wait up,” Glen yelled with a grin, waving her hand in a You’re not going anywhere, young lady kind of way.

  Oh God, this could go horribly wrong. Bebe had failed to convince Glen during their last conversation that she and Erik weren’t having sex; what kind of chance did she have now, when the side of her neck was lathered with BB cream to hide the hickies there? Ruby may not be looking for that kind of thing, but Glen sure as hell would be.

  Bebe tried to make it look like she was slowing down for Glen, even as she sped up. As far as attempts went, it was a total failure. Glen reached her as Bebe hit the main door. Damn swing shifts. She thought she would have avoided seeing Glen tonight.

  “So?” Glen grinned.

  “I’m going to be late,” Bebe muttered, and then hurried off, hand plastered to the side of her neck.

  Yeah, causing situations and running from them. Same old shit, same old Bebe.

  Damn it.

  Hardly the same old shit. You’ve never felt like this about someone before.

  Oh, shut up!

  The hickies on her neck seemed to burn into her palm. She kept her head down, and ignored Glen. And everyone else who said hello as she hurried through the hospital. Avoiding eye contact like the plague, she signed in and got to work.

  It wasn’t easy. Everyone kept looking at her. Didn’t they?

  You’re either paranoid, or the topic of all conversation.

  Every nurse and intern and doctor she passed seemed to size her up, watch her. Who knew hospitals could be so high school?

  Her first break came around an eternity later. Opting not to go to the cafeteria, she hurried out to the small garden attached to the paediatric ward. Less chance of bumping into anyone wanting to have a conversation with her that way. More than ever, the wild child she used to be was rebelling against all the people surrounding her. If she didn’t get away from them soon, she’d say something. Something no responsible young woman would—or should—say.

  “Stop goddamn thinking about me having sex” came to mind. As did, “Yeah Erik and I fucked, and it was fantastic. Jealous?”

  If she hadn’t already rung the death knell on her job at the hospital, snarling something like that at a fellow staff member would do it.

  The garden was, when it came down to it, the only safe place for her right now. Or the other side of Australia, but unfortunately her break was only fifteen minutes long.

  At this time of night, the small but beautifully landscaped area looked like a magical fairy hideaway. Muted, knee-high lights illuminated the plants and ferns edging the cobblestone path meandering through the acacia, grevillea and callistemon. The lush green grass glistened with night dew, and amongst the taller trees hung ornamental birds, butterflies and dragonflies, put there to bring smiles to young patients escaping the sounds, smells and sights of their hospital rooms.

  She found a low bench seat as far back from the path as she could, dropped onto it, and stared up at the night sky, letting out a shaky sigh.

  Okay, so time to take stock of the situation.

  She was pretty damn certain she’d fallen—and fallen hard—for the good doctor. She was also certain the pair of them had a chemistry neither was prepared for. She was ninety-percent certain both of them started…whatever this thing was, thinking it was only going to be sex. And she was also certain Erik wasn’t joking when he’d said he’d make sure everything was wonderful for her at work.

  What she wasn’t sure about was the whole love-at-first-sight thing he kept bringing up. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe in love, even the notion of love at first sight…but he was a successful, insanely sexy and wanted surgeon, and she was…

  She was just Bebe.

  But then, maybe “just Bebe” was just perfect as far as Erik was concerned?

  She sighed again. If she were to allow herself to go along with the fantasy and let Erik treat her like a princess, let him make sure no one ever gave her grief at work, what happened when he realised he hadn’t fallen in love with her at first sight, after all?

  Chewing at her thumbnail, she rolled her eyes.

  Goddamn it, why couldn’t the old Bebe come back when she needed her? The one who indulged in wild sex for a while then shrugged it off when it was over? That Bebe wouldn’t care at all about this situation.

  An emptiness constantly gnawed at that Bebe, remember? It’s one of the reasons you finally decided to get your shit together in the f
irst place.

  True. And she had no regrets, despite it all. Still, it would have made things so much easier. Instead, here she was, sitting outside in the dark, contemplating a fantasy and being angry with the man who’d made her feel special and beautiful and cherished in such a short period of time, because he wanted to protect her from being upset.

  “Seriously,” she muttered, dropping her head into her hands. “What the hell do I do?”

  Maybe she should call Niki. Or Lincoln? Her best friend and her brother were off the grid somewhere in the country. She had a contact number, but she’d promised herself she would only use it in the case of a dire situation.

  You’re in love with a doctor. Isn’t that dire enough?

  “I knew I’d find you here.”

  She jumped at Glen’s low voice and snapped upright.

  Glen grinned. “Jumpy, are we?”

  Bebe grunted.

  With a chuckle, Glen sat beside her. “So…you and Dr. Murphy, eh?”

  Letting out a sigh, Bebe slumped on the bench seat and stared at her toes. “Maybe. I mean…yes. Okay, definitely yes. Me and Dr. Murphy.”

  Glen nudged her with a shoulder. “I knew it. And it didn’t take the hickies on your neck to prove it. Good job on hiding them, by the way. Did you use a whole tube of foundation?”

  “BB cream.” Bebe snorted. “Perfect for me, right? I feel like I’ve got a whole tin of house paint on the side of my neck, named after me.”

  Glen laughed. “You blended it well. If you weren’t a nurse, you could try your hand at being a beautician.”

  Bebe snorted again, returning her stare to her toes. “Did that for a while. I was good at it but wasn’t a fan of dealing with women wanting me to fawn all over them.”

  “Yeah, I can imagine. I know you try to hide the fact you’re a bit of a rebel, but I catch glimpses of it when you’re relaxed. I like it. You should let that side out a bit more.”

  “Oh boy, you do not want the full Bebe Wells, Wild Child experience. Trust me.”

  “I might.” Glen nudged Bebe’s shoulder once more. “Maybe you should trust me? Or yourself more? Anyway, what’s the deal with the hiding out here you’ve got going on?”

  “I don’t want to talk about Erik and me,” Bebe confessed.

  “Why not?”

  Bebe blinked at Glen’s genuine confusion. And then sighed. “Because all we’ve done is have sex.”

  “Amazing sex?”

  “Beyond amazing sex. Insanely awesome sex.”

  “Insanely awesome sex sounds like a good place to start something more, don’t you think?”

  Throwing Glen a sideways look, Bebe grunted. “As you’ve already noticed, I’m not exactly the person I let everyone see. I’ve been arrested more than once—civil unrest during protest rallies. Plus, there’s the fact I’m just a nurse. A nurse who looks like she should be on a D-grade roller derby team.”

  “I think you’re one of the hottest women I’ve ever met.”

  Bebe’s eyebrows shot up.

  Glen’s eyes twinkled. “Oh honey. I’m as bi as they come—and you are sexy as hell.” She laughed. “But ignoring all that, nurses are never just nurses. Do you think a hospital could function without us?”

  “Hell no.”

  “Damn straight. And as for you and Dr. Murphy, I’ve said it to you before…I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and how devastated he was when he realised you weren’t at work earlier today. Plus, I heard all about him hanging back after he finished work the other morning, just to chat with you while you were doing that double shift.”

  “You heard?”

  Glen nodded. “It’s very romantic.”

  Bebe rolled her eyes. “You and Erik, going on about romance and love at first sight.”

  “He said that?” Glen’s eyes almost popped, and she grabbed Bebe’s hands. “He said it was love at first sight when he saw you?”

  Scowling, Bebe shook off her grip. “Not quite. But he said he’d make sure I’d never get in trouble at work.”

  A gooey, soft expression fell over Glen’s face. “Wow.”

  “No.” Bebe frowned at her. “Not wow.”

  She laughed. “Why not?”

  “I don’t want that kind of preferential treatment, Glen. All the other nurses would hate me for it.”

  “Oh Bebe.” She slid her arm around Bebe’s back and hugged her. “You are too damn adorable. Even if Dr. Murphy threatened everyone to be nice to you, to never correct or reprimand you, you know he’d have no sway over half the doctors and head nurses here, right? I mean, he might be a god in the surgery room, but as far as making certain you never get in trouble?” She shakes her head.

  Bebe huffed and rested her head on Glen’s shoulder. If only she’d fallen for Glen instead of Erik. Now that would have made life easier. “Is it too late to ask you out?”

  Glen chuckled and squeezed her a little. “Yes. It’s too late. Your heart isn’t yours to give away anymore. It belongs to a hot Irish doctor.”

  Sighing, Bebe shook her head against Glen’s shoulder. “I don’t need someone going all caveman on me.”

  Glen pulled away a little and frowned. “You’ve never had anyone care about you, have you? Or someone to look after you and protect you.”

  A lump filled Bebe’s throat, and she stared at her toes again. “No-no. I did. I have. My parents died when I was very young and my big brother raised me. He was super protective, and I really lashed out, rebelled against it. Me and my best friend got into some wild, sometimes dangerous situations, and he always saved us. And then he went on to saving the world—or at least, Australia—in ways I can’t even begin to tell you. Very dangerous, secret ways. And I’ve spent many years wondering, if I hadn’t been so crazy, if I hadn’t been so wild, would Linc even have discovered how good he is at being dangerous and scary? Or would he now just be something boring, like an architect?

  “Being looked after, cared for…it seems to end up with the person doing the caring eventually disappearing, and the person being cared for left alone.”

  Damn it, where had that all come from. And what the hell was going on with her eyes? She was not going to cry! Stupid eyes, getting all hot and prickly.

  “Wow.” Glen took her hand and threaded their fingers together. “Seriously, wow. One day, we are going to sit down and you are going to tell me everything about your life before I met you, Bebe Wells.” Had she always been this nice? And Bebe had just kept her—and everyone else—at arm’s length? “So, it seems you’ve had at least one man in your life who wanted to protect you. Not a bad problem to have, although I can see how it would be irritating. But is that really what’s worrying you? Dr. Murphy exerting some kind of demigod power over everyone at Central Perth to make your work life breezy?”

  Swallowing, Bebe closed her eyes.

  “Bebe?”

  Bebe let out another sigh. “What if I actually allow myself to fall in love with him, really give him my heart, and he just…realises he doesn’t want it after all and gives it back?”

  “If he does, I’ll kick him in the shins.”

  An image of Glen smashing her foot into Erik’s shin filled Bebe’s head, and she burst out laughing.

  Glen joined in. “You know, I think this is the first time I’ve heard you laugh.”

  “I’ve done a pretty good job of reigning myself in recently,” Bebe confessed.

  “No? You’re kidding?” A playful grin tugged at Glen’s lips.

  Bebe rolled her eyes.

  Glen squeezed her fingers. “So, if Dr. Murphy were to be waiting for you when you finished your shift, would you let him scoop you up in his arms and carry you off to his castle?”

  “I’d let him take my hand…” Bebe’s cheeks burned. Butterflies danced in her stomach, clearly as deluded as Glen about the highly impossible end-game. “And take me out for breakfast. After that…” Shrugging, she gave Glen a smile. “I mean, it was some seriously awesome sex. And if our conversations b
etween mind-blowing orgasms are as fun and easy as they were when he followed me on my rounds…” She shrugged again.

  Playing along with Glen was the definition of silly and foolish, but Bebe couldn’t help herself. Everyone ached for a true love story at least once in their life, right?

  “So…you’d let me take your hand?” a deep male voice said from the darkness, a faint Irish lilt in the words. “And take you out for breakfast?”

  Bebe’s heart smashed into her throat.

  Erik.

  He stepped out of the shadows, his gaze finding hers. “I can do that,” he said. “I want to do that. Any day. Every day. I can’t think of anything I want to do more than take your hand and take you out to breakfast.” His lips curled in a devilish smile. “Well, I can think of at least one other thing…”

  Bebe swallowed. Erik. There.

  Glen squeezed her hand again. “That’s my cue to leave.”

  Shooting her a quick glance, Bebe scowled. “You set me up.”

  “Maybe.” She dropped the quickest of kisses on Bebe’s cheek. “See you back inside.”

  She got up and, with a steady finger pointed at Erik, strode away. “Don’t hurt her, Dr. Murphy,” she threw over her shoulder. “Apparently her big brother is really scary.”

  Erik laughed, the sound low and soft. He stood motionless, watching Bebe. Waiting.

  For what?

  Pulse like a cannon in her ears, she licked her bottom lip and slowly pushed herself to her feet. “How much did you hear?”

  “Most of it.”

  “Even the part about my arrest record?”

  “Even the part about your arrest record.”

  “And?”

  “I don’t care.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “Really?”

  He grinned. “I’m Irish, Bebe. And a tad volatile. I’ve got my own arrest record back home in the motherland.”

  “Really?” she repeated.

  He nodded. “I once stole a cow.”

  “A cow.”

  “Long story. Which I hope to tell you one night as we’re curled up together in bed. Our bed.”

  “Erik. I don’t think—”

  He stopped her. “I came into the hospital tonight to see you, and to apologise. Mainly to apologise.”